Education

The Mystery of Three Birthdays & Hidden Family Truth Revealed After 6 Decades

Sep 01, 2025
By, Donna Pope

In this episode of Voices of Adoption with hosts Donna Pope and Nathan Gwilliam, Patti Eddington's story demonstrates that adoption mysteries can span generations, hiding in plain sight until DNA technology and persistent searching uncover the truth. As a journalist turned author of "The Girl with Three Birthdays," Patti brings both professional investigative skills and personal experience to one of the most complex adoption cases ever documented. Her journey from a 4-year-old adoptee to a 60-year-old woman discovering her true heritage showcases how modern technology can finally provide answers to decades-old questions about identity and family connections.

The adoption landscape continues to evolve, with approximately 135,000 children adopted every year in the United States according to 2Date4Love research. While Patti's story took place during an era of sealed records and limited information, today's adoptees benefit from more open processes, though many still face similar identity questions and search journeys.

Multiple Birth Certificates and Disguised Origins

Patti's adoptive story began with layers of secrecy that her parents believed were protective measures. At age 20 months, her adoptive mother completely transformed her appearance by cutting off all her hair and giving her a perm and color treatment. What Patti initially thought was simply her mother's beautician background turned out to be a deliberate disguise to prevent recognition by anyone who might have known her before placement.

The birthday confusion started when Patti needed a birth certificate for driver's training at age 15. She discovered her official birth certificate listed November 15th, while she had been celebrating November 20th her entire life. Her mother explained she had "changed it by a few days" to protect her from "nosy old biddies" who might try to figure out her identity. This revelation was Patti's first concrete evidence that her origins contained hidden information.

The truth about her birth date remained elusive for decades. Through DNA testing and meeting biological relatives, Patti eventually learned her actual birth date was October 19th, making her story truly about three different birthdays celebrated throughout her life. This level of identity concealment was common during the era when over 368,000 children are living in the U.S. foster care system on any given day, according to current AFCARS data.

DNA Testing Shatters Family Beliefs

At age 60, a DNA test gift from her daughter changed everything Patti thought she knew about her background. The results showed no genetic connection to the family she believed was hers, instead revealing relatives with Hispanic surnames like Lopez and Cantu. This discovery launched an investigation that would uncover her true heritage and birth name: Mary Ann Lopez.

DNA results connected Patti with biological relatives who had been searching for her since 2012. Her biological father, Ramon Lopez, had carried her baby picture in his wallet and asked family members to find her before his death. The reunion with her biological family provided missing pieces of her identity, including photos of her as an infant with both biological parents and her authentic birth certificate with footprints.

Current adoption statistics show the positive impact of modern search and reunion possibilities. Research indicates that around 80% of adoptions in the United States work out successfully, and for completed adoptions where all paperwork and processes are finished, the success rate reaches 98% according to 2Date4Love research.

Foster Care System and Court Decisions

Patti's story reveals a complex path through the child welfare system that began when she was approximately two years old. She had been living with loving biological relatives who planned to adopt her, including her biological father's sister Jane and her husband Cecil. The family had purchased a house and prepared to make Patti officially part of their family.

However, a court hearing changed everything. When Jane took Patti to court expecting to finalize the adoption, the judge instead removed her from the family's care and placed her in the foster system. Aunt Eva's words haunted the family for decades: "We never saw you again." The reasons behind the judge's decision remain unknown, as Patti was unable to obtain those specific court records despite her journalistic investigation skills.

The current foster care system shows different patterns than what Patti experienced. According to recent data from the Annie E. Casey Foundation, of the more than 54,000 kids adopted out of the child welfare system in 2021, over half were young kids ages 1 to 5, consistent with previous years. Additionally, according to AFCARS data, 57% of children adopted in 2022 were adopted by their foster parents and 33% by relatives, showing the system's preference for maintaining existing relationships when possible.

Sealed Records and Search Challenges

Patti's adoption took place during the "baby scoop era" when adoption records were routinely sealed and birth parents had limited rights. She grew up believing the standard narrative of that time period - that she was chosen from among many babies and that her birth parents were unable to care for her. The secrecy surrounding her adoption extended beyond official records to family conversations.

Notably, Patti realized while writing her book that she had never once discussed her adoption directly with her adoptive father during his entire lifetime. The unspoken understanding was that asking too many questions might hurt her adoptive parents' feelings or suggest they weren't enough for her.

When Patti finally petitioned the court at age 60 to unseal her adoption records, she discovered information that had been locked away for almost six decades. The court workers expressed surprise that they could access her records easily while she had to jump through legal hoops to obtain the story of her own life.

Modern adoption practices show significant improvement in openness and information sharing. Today, approximately 95% of domestic infant adoptions are considered to be open adoptions, including some degree of openness and information sharing between adoptive and birth parents, according to Adoption Network research.

Positive Adoption Outcomes and Family Bonds

Despite the complex secrecy surrounding her origins, Patti's story ultimately demonstrates positive adoption outcomes. Her adoptive parents, Millie and Jim Eddington, provided a stable, loving home for over four decades. They had tried for 17 years to have children and had fostered many children before adopting Patti. Their dedication and love gave her the foundation needed to navigate her identity questions as an adult eventually.

The story also shows how adoption creates opportunities for expanded family connections rather than replacing them. Patti maintains relationships with relatives from both her biological mother's and father's sides while honoring the memory and impact of her adoptive parents. She regularly speaks with biological aunts and has connected with half-siblings and their families.

Research supports positive long-term outcomes for adopted children. Despite the prevalence of special health care needs in adopted children, 88% of adopted children aged six and older exhibit positive social behaviors, according to Angel Adoption. Furthermore, 92% of adoptive parents who have adopted children aged five and older perceive their child's feelings towards the adoption as "positive" or "mostly positive".

Lessons for Modern Adoptive Families

Patti's experience offers valuable guidance for current adoptive families navigating openness and information sharing. Her primary recommendation is for adoptive parents to regularly ask their children about their curiosity regarding their origins, understanding that interest levels change at different developmental stages.

Key recommendations include:

Regular check-ins - Ask adoption-related questions at multiple life stages, not just once during childhood
Normalize curiosity - Reassure children that wondering about their origins is natural and doesn't diminish the adoptive family relationship
Maintain information - Keep all available information about the child's background, even if sharing it seems inappropriate at the time
Professional support - Consider counseling during search and reunion processes to help navigate complex emotions
Respect timing - Understand that children may need to reach emotional maturity before processing certain information

Truth Through Technology and Persistence

Patti's story demonstrates how DNA testing and genealogy research can solve decades-old mysteries about identity and family connections. Her journey from uncertainty to understanding took place over several years and required combining modern technology with traditional investigative skills.

According to research by genetic genealogist Blaine Bettinger, 32% of adoptees who take DNA tests see a half first cousin or closer match, with that number rising to 52% for those adopted from the United States. The process revealed not only her biological family connections but also her Mexican heritage, which had been completely unknown to her throughout her life. Meeting biological relatives provided cultural connections and family medical history that enhanced her understanding of herself while respecting the family that raised her.

For adoptees considering similar searches, Patti's experience shows the importance of being prepared for unexpected discoveries and having support systems in place. Her story took many surprising turns, from learning about multiple families searching for her to discovering she had lived with biological relatives as a toddler.

An Adoptees Journey of Discovery

Patti Eddington's journey from a confused 15-year-old questioning her birthday to a 60-year-old woman discovering her complete identity demonstrates both the challenges and rewards of adoption search and reunion. Her story spans decades of secrecy, modern DNA technology, and ultimate family connections that honor both her adoptive upbringing and biological heritage.

The mystery of three birthdays serves as a metaphor for the complex layers of identity that many adoptees navigate. While not every adoption story involves such extensive secrecy, Patti's experience offers hope for other adoptees seeking answers about their origins and shows how truth can emerge even after decades of hidden information.

Her story, as featured on Voices of Adoption podcast, provides valuable insights for all members of the adoption triad - birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees - about the importance of openness, honesty, and respect for the complex emotions involved in family formation through adoption.

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