Ed Kehl’s Journey From Being Adopted to Becoming an Adoptive Father

Ed Kehl signed adoption papers two days after burying his son. There was no waiting period to make sure he was ready, no space to grieve first. A family friend on the bench made it possible to move that fast, and Ed said yes before he'd had time to think it through.

In Voices of Adoption, host Donna Pope talks with people across every part of the adoption triad, adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents. This episode, she sits down with someone who has lived on two sides of it at once. Ed Kehl is a former BYU and NFL lineman who was adopted himself at twelve, then decades later became an adoptive father, first through devastating loss, then through a decision made in days.

A Childhood That Started in Danger

Ed spent his early years with his biological mother, Jackie, after a custody arrangement pulled him away from the father and grandmother who had raised him. He's direct about what that time was like: it was abusive. A family in his community noticed and stepped in, eventually leading to his adoption by Gary and Nancy Kehl, part of a family of nine children, six of them adopted.

If anything in a family's history involves abuse, immediate safety comes first. The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline, 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453), is available 24 hours a day for anyone who needs it, whether the concern is current or long past.

Finding the Father He Lost

Ed didn't grow up knowing his biological father. Decades later, his sister Debbie Weaver, a self-described genealogy enthusiast, convinced him to take a DNA test. Within about a week, he had a half brother's phone number, then a direct line back to his father. Adult adoptees search for birth family for all kinds of reasons, and Child Welfare Information Gateway's guide on the search process is a solid starting point for anyone considering the same step.

A Father Who Never Stopped Looking

The reunion wasn't one-sided. Ed's biological father had spent years trying routes and towns where he guessed his son might be, without luck. It was Ed's grandmother, on her deathbed, who pushed the family to keep trying. Ed didn't know any of that until he was already on the phone with him. Both sides of a search carry their own version of not knowing, and this episode holds space for the searcher and the one who never stopped hoping to be found.

A Career Built on a Growth Spurt

Ed hadn't played organized sports before joining the Kehl family. According to his own account, a growth spurt during his church mission changed everything, and he went on to play defensive end at BYU before a run in the NFL. Football gave him a platform, but it isn't the center of his story here; it's the backdrop for what came next.

Losing Twins in the Middle of a Season

Ed's wife went into labor with twins at 23 weeks while he was away at training camp. Their daughter was born at 1.2 pounds and lived about three weeks. Their son, born at 1.5 pounds, lived nine months before Ed and his wife had to make the decision to take him off a ventilator. In the middle of that stretch, his team released him, citing his focus on family over football.

A Son Two Days After a Funeral

Within days of his son's funeral, a family connection led to a call about a baby boy who needed a home. Ed met with a judge, a family friend willing to move fast, and adopted his son Jayden before the week was out. It was an unusually quick process, made possible by who he knew rather than how adoptions typically move, and he describes the bond as immediate, something that happened the moment his son was in his arms, no adjustment period required.

Ed and his wife went on to have two biological daughters and later adopted a son, Luke, at age four. Asked whether he loves his biological and adopted children differently, his answer is unequivocal: no. He treats all four the same, argues with them about who's the favorite the same, and says the honest answer is whichever one costs the least that week.

This conversation is not really about football, or even about adoption alone. It is about what happens when love gets tested twice, once as a child hoping someone would choose him, and once as a father proving he'd choose right back. No matter where you are in your journey, you'll find people who understand.

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